Older - Yes, Wiser - Maybe, Crankier - Definitely

Some people really annoy the bejaysus out of me!

A few weeks on

Ok, here I am sitting on a train bored out of my skull. The train is just sitting outside East Croydon with no announcements being made. No sense in wasting the time so here's a catch up.

I haven't had anything back from the health detectives yet. I did however have a humble pie phone call from my doctor. My vitamin d levels are seriously low. Cue 6 weeks of 50,000 ius once a week. So far so good.
A lot of the symptoms have cleared.

My mind is feeling nicely chilled and far I say it wanting a little bit of a challenge. A very good sign. The anxiety has cleared and my good humour is at a dangerously high level. The Mrs has threatened to with draw the tablets!

On the work front. Still don't know if I have a permanent job yet. It will be sorted out in another 4 weeks time. It will either be a good Christmas or not.
Ah, I intend to have nearly two weeks off so it will be good regardless.

The gluten free eating continues.
I think this is probably the best decision made this year. I'm enjoying playing with food and testing different recipes and flavours.

The dogs are doing well and Jack the cat seems to be thriving on the dogs diet. Yes, he has his own food but he quite happily steals the dogs. Cue image of 8 month old kitten taking food from the dog bowl with the 40kg dog watching.

Life is good and I can see it getting even better


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Dear Blog,

Dear Blog,

It's been awhile. I'm not sure why but I think I had my head turned by a saucy minx called 'Twitter'. Admittedly, I linked my twitter updates to your good self however I don't think it's done the same job.

As usual I feel the need to write when my head isn't where I think it should be. Don't worry I'be checked it is still attached to my body via my neck!

So what has been happening. I now realise where I should and want to be living. Health wise I would thrive but at the moment it's not financially possible. I find out this week if I have a permanent job with a department I've been happy working in for the last 18 months or so. I think I will be heartbroken to leave but as they say its good to love and leave.

My GP (doctor), in my opinion, is being a knob. Yes, a technical term but as a good lesbian I feel it's the most appropriate word to use to describe how I feel. He used to be great but now he's a standard go by the book and numbers sort of bloke. He whined about the cost of tests. Given I work and pay my national insurance and taxes I think it's a fair expectation for the NHS to help keep me doing such.

His diagnosis is I have depression and anxiety issues. Ok, the anxiety is a bit high at the moment but that's to be expected given the job situation. Being hypothyroid and having taken ownership of my condition means I know when I'm not right. What was his answer I need to work out until it hurts and he reckons I won't like it. Exercise doesn't scare me. Some pain is good and I'm fairly active as it is. So, I'll up my game a bit.

I've also taken a chance and sent hair samples to be checked by 'the health detectives'. They've been recommended and I'm thinking every little helps. I should get something back in a couple of weeks.

Is that enough nuzzling to rekindle our relationship diary...I don't know but I will make a bit if effort and we will see where it goes.







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=4/23/2013 3:04:21 PM= .

Single Mom Makes $89,844/Yr in Her Spare Time on The Computer Without Selling Anything

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Autumn

Grab yer hat......grab yer runners....lets go....sometimes I think what rubbish I have on my iPod. Doesn't stop me smiling and humming along though. If your interested the song is by an Irish band called B*witched.

There are many arguments over nature vs nurture. I used to lean towards the nurture side of the argument. Until,that is, my last trip to Ireland. As a family we all share certain mannerisms. The mannerisms are also showing through in the next generation! Bearing in mind I've lived in England for over 20 years and as a family we haven't lived in each others pockets. It goes further than that though we can see the differences in whether its paternal or maternal family genes which are stronger.

I was also told on the visit to quit pretending to be a tourist....yer Irish get on with it! Which is true the accent is as strong as ever.

Now with the hypothyroid systems I found my voice became husky and I could be 'roaring' but my voice never seemed to carry. Now I find with quite a few months of 'decent' Tsh levels my voice has softened. And yes people can hear me.

I haven't really changed much more in my diet. Except I've cut out tea/coffee during the day. I'm keeping the sugar and carbs to a minimum. I suppose the only real change in the last month is I've started using Rapeseed oil for cooking. I think it's easier in the guts and the other half seems to be losing a bit if weight as well.



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Reading & Music

Is it just me?!

I've gotten back into reading and music this year. Is it a horrible side effect of hypothyroidism which kills the want to enjoy either of these pursuits?!

Luckily the local charity shop has a decent selection of books. Though my favourite by far have been Val Mcdermaid 'wire in the blood' offerings.

Good news as well on how well my clothes are fitting. I bought jeans about 5 years ago and haven't until now been able to fit into them. Looks like the walking and the strength work are paying off. I haven't lost anything more off the scales but I do seem to be looking trimmer.

Hope your all enjoying the Olympics.


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Not in Kansas

Ok, so I'm a week into my new working area. I am so happy it's unreal. The people are friendly and I'm settling into the work quickly.

I am so glad I did what I did. My Tsh level is now 1.3 and my humour is well it's happy. People have really noticed the difference.

It just goes to show how much a rubbish environment has on your personality and your health.

I could sit about and do nothing but that's not my style. I'm nearly finished and writing procedures for one part of it. I've also lined up more refining for next week.

In case your wondering I've haven't rolled in pretending to be the big I am. I've rolled up my sleeves and asked what can I do to help! As for the reward well hearing the words 'thank you' is amazing.

If you have people who work for you/with you say 'thank you' now and again. See how much it's means and how good you feel saying it


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Body image

Ok,so I'm very tall for a woman 5ft 11 inches and well above the 'fat' on the BMI ratings. It is however all changing. I seem to be having more tall days (not complaining). My shape is also changing I've worked out I've lost about 7 inches of my waist. I know!!!

I used to look in the mirror and just look at my face! The rest ah! Well let's put it this way there are not many mirrors in the house. Now I want to look and see the changes. What I don't want to do is get fixated on losing weight. If I'm sensible it will happen.

I look back on what I will call my before photos. Crumbs I was skinny. That's not going to happen again....I love me cake too much!!

So the photo is off a belt I was given by one if my sisters gave me a few years ago. I couldn't buckle it up then. Now well let's just say there's only a couple of notches to go.(no photo cause of a technical hitch) Grrr

Taking a chance

Ok, so things in one part of my life and to change. The stress it was causing was intolerable. Why?! It was all personal and I don't cope very well with personal attacks. What made it worse was I couldn't answer/fight back. I had to sit and take it.

It got to a point where I had to make a choice. Stay and take it and risk my health or do something's about it. Difficult decision but I made it. It's nearly 2 weeks later and I feel so much better for it. Ok, I am now standing staring into an abyss. But it's good I have expressed myself and hopefully I will come out of the experience even stronger.

I think listening to the rumours of what's occurred is hard. Its disappointing knowing who is spreading them. However, I can walk with my head held high knowing I did the right thing. I have stood by my morales. I also know now I can express myself clearly without getting all girlie(bawling my eyes out). My thoughts are clear and as for thyroid rage...ha i laugh in it's face!!


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Guts

Ok I think we get to an age and we start obsessing about certain parts of out bodies.

At the moment my obsession is with my guts. I've learned that's where my immune system lives. It's also where T3 gets converted. If my guts are as I call it mangled then my back also suffers.

So for me part if living well is looking after my guts. Like most who are hypothyroid....constipation is another battle. So it all ties up into bit of a mess.

My sister gave me the idea of drinking prune juice instead of eating prunes (they are just too gross). A week and a half into the drinking of said juice and all seems to be well.

Hope this helps someone!



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Blip

I'm going through a blip...well at least that's what I'll call it for now. I will, as I have in the past, get through it. Determination and support from wifey and good friends helps.

We all have blips.....we are human

Vitamins & Healthy Eating

Ok, so I've not been a paragon of virtue when it comes to food. However I know my limits when eating carbs. I've given up coffee and now drink black tea. I've even cut down on the fizzy water. I rarely drink coke or anything like it either.

From a female perspective I gave up taking mephonamic tablets to help my fibroids. The changes in diet and milk thistle have helped a lot. This month I had what I would call normal pain and discomfort.

My body is feeling happier. I'm sleeping better and not crashing as often. My humour is also better. I've noticed a big difference in how I cope with people being twats. I'm laughing more and my attention is focused. My short term memory is also improving.(So, wifey it's me choosing not to argue the point knowing full well I'm in the right ;-) )

What else?! I don't know how to describe I just feel better in myself. Ok, I still have some anxiety wobbles and pains in the legs but they are not as bad as they were. I reckon another 2 months and I'll be back to my usual self. Well fingers crossed I will.


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Bank holiday weekend

So, it rained and rained and then for a change it rained again! Despite this we had a cracking weekend.

Friday evening I decided to be a bit wild and had not one but two cans of Stella Cidre. I was snoring away by 9.30pm. Such a wild thing I am!! Am mortified it takes so little to get me tiddly these days.

Saturday we went to a garden centre and had good rummage around. We got loads of ideas for the next corner of the garden we are planning to transform. These modern phones are great for taking photos as you go. Cue the evening watching Bad Teacher. Very funny movie if you get a chance to see it take it.

Sunday was equally miserable weather wise but we decided to go to a local Celtic festival. We should have known better.there were about 3 tents and it was all geared up for kids. If you had kids it would have been a fantastic day out. As the ticket included looking around the grounds and the big house we did just that. Managing a cup of tea and scone with cream and jam as we went. We also visited the working watermill. Fascinating stuff and they sold the flour they ground there. Can't remember what we did in the evening but it involved lounging around

Monday was brave the garden day. I moved a few paving slabs and managed to relay them properly. We're doing our best to reuse materials already in the garden to keep costs down. Also from a recycling...environmentally friendly point of view it's nice to say we make an effort. Hanging baskets were created by wifey and I must say I think they are better than last years. We went to a local garden centre as well.
More pricing up of plants and hunting for inspiration. I'm useless with plants. I just point and say I like that not worrying about whether they'd be suitable or not.

The evening was spent doing sod all again. But then what better way to enjoy a Bank Holiday?!

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Laughing

Ok, so I shouldn't be sitting here giggling away but.....the tom cat has just walked in front of the tv. No dramas except the other half is playing an xbox game. 'Get out of the way'....'Garfield I swear you do it on purpose'.... he's a cat like so yeah its on purpose.....better still he lands on the cat bed (which hangs on the radiator) and then proceeds to get onto the window ledge opening the curtain letting the evening sun blind the other half. This is too much am going to have to walk away.....laughing this subtly is bad for me I'm sure!

So, today I've had a good day. Ok my sinuses are still not right. I slept well last night. We've had a giggle today as well. Nice and relaxing all round. I've been taking my temperature and today its nearly normal. I wonder if its connected. (Will be keeping a watch on that).

We went on a Ghost Hunt at the weekend and it was brillant. Will post about it when I've a good spooky picture to go with it.

Acceptance

Acceptance is a mighty big word and I think it banded around without much thought of what it really means. It also have many different levels and meanings.

My version of it at the moment is finally understanding and acknowledging I have a chronic illness. I now understand those words don't mean I am on the scrap heap. They mean it's a bit more of a battle for me to live every day. That I have to put more work into living well. I need to be more aware of my body and it's needs. Probably the most important part is I'm not anywhere near the superhuman I thought I was.

I've been reading the book 'living with hypothyroidism' by Mary Shomon. I'm not going to wax on and say how brillant it is. However, I will say it is a good read. A lot of the information I had already found through various sources over the last few months. Other bits just hit home. Like the use of the word 'No'. Also, how important it is close family understand what your like when your not well. I thought one of the best points made was the different it lengths of time it can take to get back to optimal health.

This length of time varies from person to person. I've now worked out how the 'flush' of extra thyroxine rushing through the body makes you feel like your on top of the world. The reality is it can take a few months after for things to settle down and improve.My Tsh hit 16 at Christmas time and over the last couple of months there has been a lot of stress dished out a work. Which I can now see hinders my recovery.

I hear things like 'things need to get back to normal'. Now instead of going yes and battling to be what they want. I'm taking a deep breath and pushing back. I understand and accept it's not all in my shoulders. They have a part to play in this as well. 'Normal' I would love to be normal!!

I have also realised talking with others who have the condition/disease helps. A friend told me last night how much of a difference it made having someone to talk to about how they were feeling. To support and understand how they are getting fobbed off by their doctor

I've also worked out why I haven hit a bad patch like this before. I used to go to the gym a lot and exercise is mega important. I also used to get massages on a regular basis. It's not that I have been neglecting myself it's just life changes. Myself and the other half did some stretching exercises yesterday. I can definitely feel I did something!! Again, it's back to little steps and rebuilding. I'm not going to be back in a gym anytime soon.

I accept!



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Finding the horse

Ok, so the last few months have been an awkward journey. I've learned my body needs vitamins and supplements to function more than it needs food. I've also learned the body has more control over the mind than I would like.

I've been taking most of the vitamins now for nearly 12 weeks and I have noticed improvements. I added Evening Primrose oil, Flaxseed Oil and Omega 3,6 and 9 about 2 weeks ago. It will take another 4-6 weeks for them to kick in. I'm thinking about adding liquorice root to the mix as I've read it has a good levelling effect on hormones and helps the guts!

Food wise I think my stomach has shrunk as I feel fuller now with less. Or it could be because my body is working better my natural 'that's enough' indicators are working. It's horrible eating and never feeling satisfied. Mind other new habit is if I feel like snacking I have a drink of water or a cup of coffee.

Now your probably thinking 'what the heck has all this got to do with a horse?!' well you might be familiar with the phrase getting back on the horse. I'm not going to blithely say I'm back in top form and everything is ok. This is a long journey and tomorrow could be a one step back type of day.

I'm learning to take each day as it happens. If I instinctively feel upset by something I walk away and tell myself to chill. Again it's my body reacting not my mind. I read somewhere that you should start the day with a positive aspiration. Instead if saying 'I'm not going to eat chocolate today' say 'I'm going to eat a bit more fruit/veg'.

My aspirational for each day at the moment is to have a good laugh. Last night the other half suggested taking the dogs for a walk in the woods. I wasn't feeling up for it but still said yes. We had a giggle! My describing the walk as if it was a 70's porn movie probably was funnier to me than the other half. Did I care no...I was laughing and enjoying myself.

I slept better last night and I've woken up refreshed. I'm looking forward to today!

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Highs and Lows

Does anyone else experience high and lows in your body's performance?!

I've had a few really great days this week and now today I feel horrible. I know if I don't push myself to do anything I would just laze the day away. Maybe it's because I've strayed from what I call my Spartan diet. I have had some sweet things in the evenings.

My blood test results this month are TSH 2.31 mu/l (ref range 0.27 -4.2)
T4 17 pmol/l (ref range 10-24)
T3 4.4 pmol/l (ref range 2.8-7.11)

Not brilliant but could be a lot worse. I'm hoping all the vitamins I've been taking will help. My weight has steadied and considering I've had over a week of not eating properly I'm not unhappy. I'm carrying nearly 4 lb extra but as it's also my period week I'm not unhappy. Though my guts are telling they aren't happy!!

So, today I'm back on the wagon so to speak. Going to make sure I drink plenty of water this weekend to help flush my system.

Anyways back to spring cleaning the house. It's the kitchen's turn to get pulled apart today.

Hope you all have a good weekend.

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Womanly Health/Children/Dogs

I've been using period tracker light over the last few months. It's been interesting comparing how I feel each month. The pains and pmt anger moods are all disappearing. I would say I know I'm a bit irritable an negative a few days before so I've decided they are the days to go quiet.

Period tracker has also shown my average cycle is 26 days. So much for all the medical stuff I read which says periods are infrequent. My cycle is also regular and predictable! I also read about hair loss. I'm hairy beyond a joke. When I was born I was taken back to the hospital because they thought there was something wrong with me. I tend to molt though and I give the dogs competition on who can clog the Dyson first.

My thinking is the hypothyroid condition can't be looked at on it's own. Other systems in the body are jump into the mix and cause the cauldron to bubble a bit more.

On a doggie note Hera is getting more submissive. My godson was around last night and Hera and Juno managed to tire him out. Hera is perfect for playing with young kids. Despite her size she is gentle and very aware of space. Juno doesn't quite get play in the same way and once the session of feeding treats and playing catch are over he takes a back seat.

I do wonder what the next knee jerk legislation for dogs is going to be. I think the move in Northern Ireland to have all dogs microchipped is a good idea. I think having a dog is good for children and young people. I also think there's no such thing as a bad dog only a bad owner. I also believe dogs pick up on character behaviour from their owners.

Cats on the other hand are their own masters until it comes to feeding time!!

Hope you all have a good day

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Hormones

Dear Creator......wouldn't you just love to be able to send that sort of letter and know you'd get a response! (Note Creator can be anything you believe)

I would like to know if we are still in the R&D (research and development) phase of the project or is this it. If we decided to change our views on how life should develop on a global scale and went back to a local version. Would that change attitudes to healthcare for the better?! I read an article the other day which suggested GPs didn't have time for diagnosing patients and the task should be handed over to private companies.

On the one hand I wasn't surprised and my work head said yes a great way to progress. But my me head said hold on! I have experienced doctors offering advice when they didn't really know me or my health history and if I listened I would have made myself worse. Personal experience which makes me shudder at a more corporate attitude to health care.

There is a great need for decent administrators and managers to make the paperwork side of things work. What about Nurse Practitioners.....are their skills put to good enough use?! I have met a nurse who was hypothyroid too and she just took her doctors advice and was settling with the negative symptoms of this condition. Mind I have to say it was me getting annoyed with a doctor which made me get off my arse and learn more about what I can do to make my life better. Maybe we trust in GPs too much.

Personally, I think we need more GPs who take a holistic and person centred approach. Any body got any thoughts on the subject?!

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Laughter

Ok have had a belly full of laughing this afternoon. Thanks to drawing with friends.

Laughter is definitely the best.......

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