Body image

Ok,so I'm very tall for a woman 5ft 11 inches and well above the 'fat' on the BMI ratings. It is however all changing. I seem to be having more tall days (not complaining). My shape is also changing I've worked out I've lost about 7 inches of my waist. I know!!!

I used to look in the mirror and just look at my face! The rest ah! Well let's put it this way there are not many mirrors in the house. Now I want to look and see the changes. What I don't want to do is get fixated on losing weight. If I'm sensible it will happen.

I look back on what I will call my before photos. Crumbs I was skinny. That's not going to happen again....I love me cake too much!!

So the photo is off a belt I was given by one if my sisters gave me a few years ago. I couldn't buckle it up then. Now well let's just say there's only a couple of notches to go.(no photo cause of a technical hitch) Grrr

Blip

I'm going through a blip...well at least that's what I'll call it for now. I will, as I have in the past, get through it. Determination and support from wifey and good friends helps.

We all have blips.....we are human

Vitamins

Ok,these work for me! If anyone decides to try them make sure they are right for you! Milk Thistle, Chromium, Vitamin E, calcium, Vitamin D, magnesium, Zinc, Garlic, Primrose oil with starflower oil and vitamin c. When I'm feeling stressed I take more vitamin c to help my body cope.' I've been eating better for nearly 8 weeks now too. Though at weekends(friday night/saturday) and then take Sunday to let my body recover. I drink more water than before too.

 I've lost all my extra 'thyroid weight' I put on last year. Which if I'm honest was nearly 3 stone. I have also lost a further 11 lbs. With my weight reducing this should also help the issues I have with polycystic ovaries. About 3 weeks ago I had a stupid week and a half of stress. My body wasn't happy as I ended up with 6 cold sores on my bottom lip which became infected. Some good cream from the doctor and 2 weeks later it's nearly all healed. I also had what I call a girly hormonal weepy reaction to some rubbish stuff as week. But even that didn't last long.

My energy levels are fantastic -ignoring my little hiccup with the spuds the other night. I'm also waking up easier. I feel happy in myself and my brain is sharpening up. I'm getting back to my best. I've learned I need to laugh and pat myself onthe back when I do something right. I need to ignore wankers who do t understand or want to understand this condition. I read other peoples stories and I thank the powers that be that I have a good standard of life. My other half has learned to recognise when I'm having a bad day and when I need to rest. Mostly it's about pacing and taking in what's good in life aka sitting in the garden drinking tea whilst watching the dogs destroy the grass. More importantly wifey has learned to pull me up when I seem to be a bit of centre. I've learned to not prattle on about geeky things that some people just aren't interested and I should be more aware of my audience. I do feel sad that I have lost so much time because doctors couldn't be arsed to treat me and instead just read the numbers and said 'boderline - no action'.

 We're entitled to a free blood yes every 3months and it's important to get a copy of the results. I then match these off with my diary and how I'm feeling. I'm in control not my thyroid. I'll end with saying I've learned to take tablets in the morning washed down with water. Then there's a break of an hour until I eat. I take the vitamins in the evening so there's no chance of them affecting apsorption. Be positive....if you feel it it's real

Potatoes!

Yes, apart from the annoying, but curiously funny mobile phone message by Keith Lemon, I had a wierd experience after dinner last night.

Dinner was slow cooked stewing steak, with a carrot and onion, with a teaspoon of marmite in the stock for flavouring with boiled new potatoes. Yesterday I should explain was a fantastic day. Had gotten up early to start work and had really enjoyed myself tripping through the day. The extra milk thistle in the morning seems to be helping the shakes and vomitting feelings. Anyways to dinner....its one of my favourites. I love potatoes and when I decided, about 8 weeks ago, to minimise carbs potatoes, rice, pasta and bread all went out the window. The other half prefers oven chips and I'm not a big fan. So, I settle down to enjoy the meal. Well, by the end of Eastenders (which was quite dull by the way) my eyelids were getting heavy. I grabbed a snuggly blanket and stretched out on the sofa snoring away. I woke about 10.30pm and dragged myself up to bed. I felt foggy and drained. At some point before the alarm went off I woke up and I felt dizzy. 'Bugger' I say to myself. Still when the alarm goes off its hard to ignore the two dogs who want a wee and their breakfast. I will also mention the tom cat bouncing on me cause he wants feeding to. I think  used the word 'Bugger' a few times this morning. Especially when I realised I had to iron a shirt as well.

I drank a few glasses of water and did some slow breathing exercises and that seemed to help. I got a cup of black coffee and a couple of plain digestive biscuits. This helped even more.  When I got to my destination in London, after a fun trip on the top deck of a number 47 bus, I had an egg and beans. Feeling even better so I walked into the meeting feeling all bright and sparkly.

I can see a massive improvement in form from the begining of the year. My weight is going the right way. I'm sleeping rather than crashing. Mentally its been a bit harder. However, I seem to have turned the corner with that to. I'm not feeling brain fog and I'm getting a kick of the work I'm doing for the Olympics. I love a challenge especially when its something which has never been done before. Just for the record what I need to do to get stuff sorted for the Olympics is a peace of cake the real test is getting everything sorted afterwards. Everyone around me is only focused on the lead up and the main Olympics. I won't break the bad news to them just yet.

Stress and Changes

About 9 weeks ago I made a conscious effort to change diet. I am now on a low GI diet. (and yes I do fall of the wagon at weekends but not to excess) I also got help with researching what supplements I should be taking to keep the hypothyroidism in check.

The effects...I feel better in many ways. I have lost nearly 11lb in weight. Which makes it nearly a steady 2lb a week which I believe is the healthiest approach. My tiredness is now manageable and for the most part I have my sleep well managed. The biggest at the moment is internal shaking and the feeling of wanting to vomit. The aid for that is its seems Milk Thistle. I also need to balance my hormones a bit more so from tomorrow I well be introducing Flax Seed Oil and St John's Wort into the mix. My guts unfortunatley are not doing so well. I'm visiting the doctor again tomorrow to see if there's anything more I can do.

I've worked out that stress is a major contributor to my thyroid levels going topsy tervy. I believe the extra stress began in 2009 and got progressively worse. I do also think the increase in stress contributed to my normally sensible thoughts going all over the shop. This is now coming back to what I think are normal.

The other annoying thing is people don't get this condition/disease. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. However, with decent support and a medical know it all to ask stupid questions life is returning to normal. I have learned a lot about myself and how not to let people push my buttons. I have the urge to go and do some utterly different things. One is to pump the tyres on my bike. Being about 2 stone lighter than when I last rode it I'm hoping I will be able to give Chris Boardman a race. Ok, well maybe not....I don't keep my legs as hair free as he does.

Getting there

Ok, the last few weeks I've had a contant feeling of wanting to vomit. Horrible feeling is all I can say. Well Friday, I went for a walk with the mrs and the dogs. The fresh air, the laughter and probably the mud all contributed to getting rid of the feeling. I think the feeling is due to unwanted stress. I like a bit of stress but when its a positive challenge rather than just bad feelings.

I keeping up with the healthier eating and have lost another 1lb. That takes me to a loss of about a stone since christmas. So, its slow but steady progress. The only thing I don't like about is losing the weight is getting the odd stretch mark. For this I'm going to try using bio oil to combat. I'm also looking forward to the mornings getting brighter so I can get the bike out again. I think that will speed the weight loss and improve my fitness.

I've a blood test book for Wednesday and I'll be asking to get my T3 and T4's checked. What I had forgotten, and them in the doctors surgery never remind me, is don't take the thyroxine on the morning of the blood test. Which means my last blood test results were a bit out. Be interesting to see what the numbers.

I stil have symptoms. I feel tired, I don't feel emotions the way I would like to. I'm so laid back I don't even get angry if I feel its right to (very wierd). I have mild pins and needles in my hands which isn't too intrusive and I haven't had this for as long before.

I've been keeping up with taking the vitamins and the milk thistle. I've been a slave to eating properly during the week. I must admit I slip a bit at the weekends. I now know that if I eat something that isn't right I feel pain....bad pain! Usually in my right hip and down into my right leg. I think it happens that way because about 8 years ago that was the side which was badly damaged when I had a prolapsed disc.

I've been reading all sorts on the net and some of it is rubbish and some of it, usually reading others stories make me feel lucky I'm not as bad as it could be. I thinky though my body is still recovering from the 6 months it was out of whack last year. The doctors kept saying I was boderline. I've since learnt borderline needs to be argued.

I also know I'm not right at the moment because my sinuses are killing me and in turn all noise sounds sharp and hurts my ears.

High Energy

Don't I just wish I had loads of it. Well I've been up and down like a tarts knickers (though I'm sure a modern tart would go with crotchless ones to save time).

Last weekend I was brimming with energy thinking ya I'm going to up date the blog....do this...do that.... but what happens. I eat a curry with rice on Saturday night and I bascially crash, fall into a deep sleep, afterwards. It takes a day or so to get over it. However, it proves a point.

About 5 weeks ago I made major changes to my eating habits. I cut out the carbs and even started drinking my coffee black. I started taking supplements as well such as milk thistle, chromium, etc etc. Why so I can try and lose weight and feel all round better in myself. My humour hadn't been the best for a long time either and a few weeks ago I cranked at the Mrs. Sulked off to bed and slept. I felt better for it. Can't say she was too impressed but at least it was out of my system.

Even though I'm 5ft 11 tall and wiegh a bit more than 7 stone people don't realise I'm bit of a pushover and I do take things to heart. The Mrs has often had to put up with me bawling me eyes out over things people have said or done as work. Mostly though I try to turn the other cheek and just get on with it.

Having an underactive thyroid does impact and the hormone bouncing that goes with it is annoying. I can't honestly say I go through full on periods of depression. I describe it as getting into bit of a funk. I also think its my body that goes through it rather than my mind. Difficult to explain but sure what about humans is ever simple. The change in eating habits is I think making a positive difference. I've lost 4lb in 5 weeks so am well chuffed with myself.

Next step now is to try and get rid of the pains I feel in my back and legs. Not sure what is causing them but there must be something I can do. On with the research!

I I I

So, I've had an itch to scratch! Nothing to bad just been wanting to upgrade my phone as my contract expired in March '11. Sod all choices for phones and I want to get away from Nokia's. I opt for an Iphone 3, double my bill in doing so, which had about the best/cheapest options.

Before we went to bed last night the Mrs was having a whinge about the wardrobe in the back bedroom. For a few years I'd a few boxes of comics stored on it. Whilst the room is being decorated the wardrobe has been moved about with said boxes still on it. The wardrobe has ended up looking a bit 'forward'. I think one of the wheels is broken so shouldn't take much to fix it. I said I'd get it done....when?! was the response. I think there was a little 'strop' dance to go with it too. Considering I've been knocking off jobs at a reasonable rate the last few weeks found this amusing. Personally, I think it was a little mood cause its Sunday evening and we'd had a rather good weekend. Though watching 'Walton's movies' saturday and sunday night is probably not the wisest thing to admit to.

Today I also start my week of not eating rubbish. I'm also going to cut down on the carbs. Which should mean I'll be a cranky git by wednesday......ah the joys!!

Clare's Law

If you haven't read about this yet then do. It's an interesting campaign and is supported by Police.
Essentially its about 'Domestic Violence'. Clare was killed by a violent partner, who had a past and was well known to police. The argument is prospective partners should be able to go and check up a person's past with a view to protecting their future safety. A tricky one especially as Domestic Violence is not just about abusive men. Women can be just as bad.

However, it doesn't cover Passive Aggressive or other forms of abuse. Not that it ever could.

For anyone who's interested in the topic I would suggest reading Roddy Doyle's The Woman who walked into doors. Or maybe a viewing of The Kid. Hard watching but again, for me, very real and honest about the subject its portraying.

It is not someone's right to make another do as they wish......its supposed to be about accepting difference and cracking on with it. Supporting each other to be the best they can be.

What have I been doing?!

Not a lot is the answer......walking the dogs on the beach. Which has led to trying to figure out how to stop Juno being such a grumpy/protective git. I've dug out the dog whistle and its seems to have the same effect as his vibrating collar. So we shall see. But just in case I'll be taking his muzzle with us next time we go out.

I've discovered the joys of a local meat wholesaler. Lovely meat at reasonable prices. We're still going to the farm shop but for the run of the mill week day dinners you don't really want to be spending loads.

We've decided to have a change of lifestyle and start eating healthier. Its hard!! But I've discovered a vegetarian shop at the bottom of Waterloo 'High Street' that does the most delicious salads. I've tried to other local to work cafes salads but they aint as good. The excellent salad even had pink grapefruit in it and I enjoyed it.....noting I hate grapefruit.

Glad everything seems to be getting back to normal in London again. Was horrible seeing empty streets and seeing shops close so early in the day.

Snot rags

Urgh I have the lurgies......really bad sneezing, coughing, wheezing chest....thanks be to whatever its a long weekend to recover.

The new manging director has issued a new bit of encouragement. Apparently with Retail its all in the detail. So we are being encouraged to go and challenge things we find wrong. Donkeys years ago thats what we used to do cause we had an immense sense of pride in what we did. The the big corporate took over and what we didn't wasn't good enough. Most of us are long timers committed to the job but without degrees etc. Now it feels like we're being asked to do more for less pay. Shame they destroyed the self created ethos when they did. But it does prove my research on the new md is correct.

Anyways cuddling the dogs and trying to feel better!

I'm spudgyin' back........

Ok, I deleted my other blog and a couple of weeks later am itching to write. The irony!

Life is fairly ok at the moment. I had a few months of my thyroid levels being low. Not fun...the pains, tiredness and anger issues (yes, I felt like ripping into people) were unbearable. I'm on a different dose of thyroxine now and its great. I don't feel like I'm permanently drunk and the pains in my legs have gone. Yes, it takes 3-4 weeks for the tablets to really level everything. Good start though.

I've set my potatoes. 3 lots in tubs and then 3 rows in the garden. I've also got butternut squash plants and onions on order. Still another patch of the garden to prepare for the plants. I'll post some photos when its looking a bit more organised. I've also been trying to re-grass the garden. Not the easiest with 2 large dog running round it.

The dogs are in great form. I've just had 11 days off and the bonding time was great. My first day back at work meant they sulked. Hera waited until I fell asleep before she decided it would be ok to have a cuddle. Minx woke me up!

Work is going on. Busy as ever. The restructuring is still going on but hopefully will be finished by the end of the year.