Acceptance is a mighty big word and I think it banded around without much thought of what it really means. It also have many different levels and meanings.
My version of it at the moment is finally understanding and acknowledging I have a chronic illness. I now understand those words don't mean I am on the scrap heap. They mean it's a bit more of a battle for me to live every day. That I have to put more work into living well. I need to be more aware of my body and it's needs. Probably the most important part is I'm not anywhere near the superhuman I thought I was.
I've been reading the book 'living with hypothyroidism' by Mary Shomon. I'm not going to wax on and say how brillant it is. However, I will say it is a good read. A lot of the information I had already found through various sources over the last few months. Other bits just hit home. Like the use of the word 'No'. Also, how important it is close family understand what your like when your not well. I thought one of the best points made was the different it lengths of time it can take to get back to optimal health.
This length of time varies from person to person. I've now worked out how the 'flush' of extra thyroxine rushing through the body makes you feel like your on top of the world. The reality is it can take a few months after for things to settle down and improve.My Tsh hit 16 at Christmas time and over the last couple of months there has been a lot of stress dished out a work. Which I can now see hinders my recovery.
I hear things like 'things need to get back to normal'. Now instead of going yes and battling to be what they want. I'm taking a deep breath and pushing back. I understand and accept it's not all in my shoulders. They have a part to play in this as well. 'Normal' I would love to be normal!!
I have also realised talking with others who have the condition/disease helps. A friend told me last night how much of a difference it made having someone to talk to about how they were feeling. To support and understand how they are getting fobbed off by their doctor
I've also worked out why I haven hit a bad patch like this before. I used to go to the gym a lot and exercise is mega important. I also used to get massages on a regular basis. It's not that I have been neglecting myself it's just life changes. Myself and the other half did some stretching exercises yesterday. I can definitely feel I did something!! Again, it's back to little steps and rebuilding. I'm not going to be back in a gym anytime soon.
I accept!
Sent from my iPhone
